If You Can't Forgive, You Can Still Move On (Feature Story)

Most 15 year-old’s worry about their first year of high school, first relationships, and what outfit to wear on school picture day. However, for Central Connecticut State University student Taylor Smith, her freshman year included family trauma, mental diagnosis,’ and checking into a rehabilitation center.

“It wasn’t easy coming from practically a broken home, especially when you’re a little kid,” Smith stated. Having dealing with sexual abuse from her father at the age of 5, Smith said it was not until she was in middle school when she finally realized what happened to her does not happen to everybody else.

“What I went though wasn’t normal for a lot of people. It wasn’t until I was going through puberty when I finally noticed that I am the way I am because of what happened to me as a little girl,” Smith said. “It was a huge realization.”

Smith attended her first therapy session in the eighth grade due to her anxiety and anger management issues, which eventually lead to her first suicide attempt her freshman year of high school. She says that if it wasn’t for her suicide attempt, she would not have had the wake up call she needed.

“It was the lowest point in my life that helped my life get better,” Smith stated. It was the act in taking her own life that landed her in her first rehabilitation center Silver Hill, where she was further diagnosed with PTSD, border line personality and manic depressive disorder.

With the help of the staff and therapists at Silver Hill, Smith was on a road to recovery she thought she would never see.

“There were so many days where I hated being there and wanted to leave, but that place made me realize that if you still cant forgive yourself, you still have the chance to move on.”

Although Smith continues to battle these personal struggles on a day to day basis, it is her darkest of times that make her want to be a better person not only for herself, but those around her.

“If telling my story helps only one person, then that’s all that matters. I want those who are going through similar issues as me to know that you can come out the other side, and that life is worth living, no matter how difficult it may be.”